I used to feel so alone in the world. I felt like I had lone wolf it through life, white knuckling my way through life, while pushing down my anxiety, stress, fear, as well as my desires for connection, intimacy, and love. I felt like I had to show up as a man who wasn’t vulnerable, who provided everything and who was this version that was always successful. That man was a lie, an image I tried to live up to, and in the process it was tearing me apart.
I felt disconnected from my partners. I felt like no one understood the pressure I was under, the anger I felt, or how trapped and unhappy I was in my life, work, and relationships.
What I didn’t know is that I was my own jail keeper. I was the one keeping myself trapped, because I wasn’t speaking up, I wasn’t being honest, real or relational with the people in my life. I was the only person who could let myself out of that cage, but I didn’t know how to do it on my own.
It wasn’t until I got help from a men’s coach and started doing men’s work that I discovered how to let myself out of my cage and in the process discovered that I wasn’t alone.
When I started connecting with other men and realized I wasn’t alone in the challenges I was facing, that’s when life became a lot easier. When I invested in men’s coaching, classes, and groups, my life turned around very quickly, because I wasn’t trying to figure it out all on my own. I realized I could get help from other people and that those people would hold my feet to the fire and keep me accountable to being my truest self.
If any of this lands with you, I want to encourage you to do something I wish I had done earlier:
Hire a coach!
When you hire me as your coach you get the accountability and support you need on your journey to become an embodied man who can create the presence and awareness that his partner craves, while also advocating for his own needs and desires in a way that allows him to be seen and appreciated.
If you want that for yourself, if you’re ready to step forward into a better life, I want you to connect with me by filling out the form below so we can get the conversation started.
I provide coaching to men who are tired of living an inauthentic and disconnected life.
Has Life made you ashamed to call yourself a man? Do you strangely feel lost and out of place? Do you lack a support network you can rely on?
If you struggle with shame and guilt for being a man,
if you feel like life is meaningless and devoid of purpose,
if you lack deep, meaningful relationships with other people,
if you are struggling with your own sense of confidence and self esteem,
Know that you aren’t alone.
I’ve been where you’re at, struggling to survive, wishing I knew how to connect with other people and wanting to be liked by the people in my life. What I didn’t realize is that my people pleasing ways, passive aggressive behavior and deep feelings of resentment were at the root of my dissatisfying relationships, both with myself and with other people in my life.
Men, in general, are struggling to figure out their place in the modern world.
Some mens’ answers are to double down on toxic behaviors and patriarchal values, trying to dominate and control everyone around them.
Some mens’ answers are to be the nice guy, trying to please everyone around them, while denying their own needs and wants, hoping that someone else will figure it out and take care of them.
Neither answer is working for men.
We can do the men’s work and take accountability for our needs and wants, both with ourselves and other people. That’s a valuable first step, but it’s not enough.
Men ache for something deeper, something we have lost and are looking for, but never finding because its been taken away.
We are looking for the sacred male mysteries and rites of passage that we need to experience and perform in order to connect with the divine aspects of being masculine. We are looking for the internal balance we need on all levels of our being.
If you’re here…
You ache for connection and community and aren’t finding it in the gym, bar, or other places you frequent.
you are feeling emasculated because of a toxic relationship you’re in or one you have just gotten out of.
You’ve settled for a mediocre job and life and you feel trapped by the need to pay the bills and do unfulfilling work.
You long for meaning, a sense of purpose, and passion, but you don’t know how to activate it in your life.
You want to feel witnessed, recognized and appreciated for what you do and are trying to do with your life and relationships.
You want to discover the spiritual essence of being a man and act on it in a way that brings you a sense of pride and strength in a way that is healthy for yourself and other.
You know you deserve more. You know you deserve better. But you don’t know how to get there and you feel lost, confused, and like your needs and wants don’t matter to anyone around you. You lash out and you struggle and you feel more and more alone.
You don’t have to struggle. You don’t have to wait another day longer to get the help that you need, the recognition you want, and the change you are looking for.
You don’t have to feel like life is passing you by and that you’re losing out on a life filled with purpose and passion.
You don’t have to beat yourself up for not having everything figured out on your own.
You don’t have to lose relationships because of people pleasing nice guy behavior that is disconnecting you from yourself and your partner.
You don’t have to get a divorce, lose custody and half your assets because you don’t know how communicate or listen.
You don’t have to numb yourself with alcohol, porn, weed, or other addictions to try and get through each day, while secretly loathing yourself.
You don’t have to do any of those behaviors, BUT to change your life you need to reach out to another man to get the guidance and support you’ve been looking for. And when you have that support from another man, your life turns around.
You learn how to REALLY take care of yourself on every level of your life.
You start communicating with clarity and listen with intent.
You define your code of values and live your life with purpose, passion, integrity and truth.
You speak up and take responsibility for your needs, wants and longings, instead of waiting for someone to fulfill them for you.
If you’re tired of continuing to live an inauthentic life, of creating a bullshit story around your life, and you’re ready to say, “Fuck this, I need to call in someone who can help me get the results and life I want,” then it’s time to start advocating for yourself and get the help you need to create the life you want.
It’s about time you learn how to use the special gifts that come with being a man and create the life of your dreams today.
You’ve heard of men living lives that you can only dream of. You’ve seen men that seem to have it together, that have the answers you’re looking for. And you think that can’t be me because they’re special: They’re smarter, or come from better families, or possess the best education. They have some innate advantage over me… you think all this but you’re wrong. The only advantage they have over you is that stopped listening to their ego and reached out for some help when they needed it.
And they got that help and transformed their lives in the process.
Imagine a life where you’re accepted, loved, given the support that you’ve always craved, and acknowledged for your hard work and skill. Imagine a life where you are in touch with the mature, sacred masculine, a life of spiritual significance, meaningful purpose and a mission that is greater than yourself, and yet elevates your life.
It’s not a fantasy.
It’s time to face up to the reality that you’re life isn’t where you want it to be, and going it alone hasn’t worked. You can keep trying to fix everything on your own or you can take a breath, ground yourself, and schedule a transformation session with me where we will go over your existing challenges and plot out a course of action that will transform your life.
It’s time to make the best decision for this year and for the rest of your life. Fill out the form below and I will be in touch with you shortly.
Frequently asked questions
What is coaching?
Coaching is a results oriented process where we work together to help you reach your full potential, while achieving your goals more quickly. The coach is a guide and facilitator that will ask you questions, challenge you, and push you where you need to be pushed, but in a way that is respectful and supportive of your process.
Why do I need a coach?
You don’t! You can take the long road of doing the work yourself, reading books, go deep and move toward your goals. But few men are able to sustain that level of focus and work on their own.
That’s where a coach comes in. A coach will provide you accountability and focus toward achieving your goals. A coach will guide you and help you stay on track to get the results you want, in less time than it would take to do it on your own. A coach will also see your blind spots and call them out.
If you’re reading this, you likely could use some support and that’s where having a coach can be helpful. You don’t have to go it alone, when you have someone to walk with you on your journey to becoming the man you want to be.
Why should I hire you as a coach?
I am a certified coach through the World Coaching Federation. Additionally I’ve coached clients for over a decade and while I’ve recently moved into the men’s coaching space, a lot of what I’ve coached clients on in the past, business and career has transferred over to the men’s coaching. Additionally I’ve done the deep work myself for over twenty years. I know how intense this work can get and I can make it easier for you to get the results you want more quickly.
What if I can’t afford you as a coach?
This may not be the right time for you to work with a coach. The truth is you’ll have to make some sacrifices in the short term to get the long term results you’re looking for.
I recommend not looking at it as a cost, but instead as an investment. What is NOT getting coaching costing you? What is living the nice guy, comfortable, settling for less life costing you in the short and long run? Only you can answer that, but getting coaching can make a significant difference in your life path and the overall results you get when you have a support system in place to back you up.
There are are other ways for us to work together. I have an online men’s group you can join, as well as classes you can take to help you get started on this work.